There are periods during the year when my conversations with families center on what other players are doing. This is particularly true in the fall, when seniors declare their athletic plans for the next four years. And its not only seniors who are committing. Even underclassmen, as young as freshmen, make verbal commitments to their dream colleges. It's both amazing and intimidating. Amazing because colleges are constantly attempting to project the potential of undeveloped talent. If the recruiting gods smile upon them, they will land the player they hoped for. It's intimidating because it leaves other players and their families questioning, "Why them and not us?" This can lead some to stop playing or to play without the energy they once possessed.
Recruiting is an inexact science; most college coaches will admit this. But, to a youngster, these recruiters speak the gospel. Kids hang their hopes on every word they hear, or sadly, don't hear from the colleges. Dreams can be squashed quickly, especially when peers are getting the offers and signing the letters of intent. It is, unfortunately, so very difficult to control the negative thoughts during tough moments like these. It takes many conversations to convince these players that there is a great fit and opportunity out there - it will come at the right time for the individual. Don't panic.
When does comparison end? It is so easy to approach baseball with rational thinking. For example, I have had many chats with parents set with thinking that their son, say Pitcher A, got a win against Team B, and team B easily beat team C a few weeks ago. Therefore, Pitcher A (their son) should easily get the win vs. team C. This conversation is always after their son has lost the game to Team C and they have trouble understanding why it happened.
Of course, baseball - or most any sport - does not track this way. But many parents still struggle to understand this dynamic.
Thats where I come in. I have more phone calls each year wanting to help players overcome the frustration of a poor outing against a team who, on paper, would show up as a comfortable win. It happens, but it can't happen to their son, can it?
Sure, it can. The odds are strong that these defeats will certainly pop up again and again, too. Players who can take care of their own game and not compare themselves or think about how they favorably or unfavorably match up against an opponent will go far in this game. There are ex-players who spent their playing days comparing themselves to others, held bitterness if someone else passed them by in the developmental years, and cast blame toward others rather than looking at what adjustments they could have made for their improvement.
"Trust the Process" is a term we hear a lot of coaches use. It sounds like a "throw away" line, but it has a lot of value. It is a big picture statement that helps understand the way baseball, and any walk of life, work. There are steps and experiences we all need to go through in order to get to our personal goals. Some get there sooner than others, but most all get there with patience and self-motivation.
I would make a small correction to this phrase, however. I would say "trust YOUR process". Don't let the path of others pull you away from what you need to do at your pace. Your path - process - is only made for you and it is unlike anyone else's. It you keep on thinking about your tasks and avoid looking around, good things will come.
So, how will you know you are "there" and how do you handle it when you get there? Sometimes players get so caught up in the work (the process) that they don't see how far they have come. Some continue to compare to others who are still seemingly achieving more success.
If you have trouble navigating this winding and bumpy road, find someone you trust. Listen to them. Let them show you what you have accomplished and give yourself the credit you deserve for a job well done. Trust people who have your good thoughts and dreams in mind and will be honest with your feelings. Maybe the better phrase is:
ENJOY the process. You will be a success!